Tips on Facing Fear to Experience Growth

Lifestyle

Dec 4

I believe that FEAR is the biggest thing that can hold me back in life. Overcoming fear is essential in achieving goals and dreams. So, let’s take a look at fear and have a strategy.

One of the main reasons for procrastination when it comes to setting and achieving goals, is fear. What is feared? Many things trigger fear, such as:

Rejection
Failure
Embarrassment
Disappointment
Hurt
Angering or disappointing others, etc.

So, once upon a time, I would play it safe and avoid taking risks or trying new things to avoid such discomforts. I found myself stuck. Not growing, not reaching goals and not happy for sure. That’s why I’m going to share my tips and strategies for overcoming fear and negative mindsets so you can avoid the pitfalls from fear that led to the lack of progress that I once knew. First, we must understand where fear comes from:

Fear comes from within US… our own minds and imaginations. Most fears are definitely self-created. I can literally scare myself sick imagining the worst outcomes to just about anything I pursue or experience. But just because I can imagine the worst-case scenario, doesn’t mean it will actually happen, or that it will be as painful as I think. FEAR is known for standing for: Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real, for a good reason. Because fear is ALL about what MIGHT happen and not necessarily what WILL happen.

Now, here is the good news. Once I embraced this knowledge that I am at the root of my fear, then I began to understand that I have the power to overcome it. So instead, I can quit being the victim to my worst-case scenario and get busy taking control of my negative thoughts and consciously decide to think positively…here comes the mindset of BEST-CASE scenarios.

How to overcome fear

Here’s what I do to overcome fear and you can do it too:

Make a list of things that I am afraid to DO.

Not spiders and snakes, but skydiving or rock climbing. Maybe the list would include leaving a job that has no growth, going back to school or leaving a bad relationship, asking for forgiveness or a raise, etc. Once the list is complete, I restate my fears like this:

“I want to rock climb with my friends, but I scare myself by imagining that I fall to my death. (Absolute worst-case scenario freak-out!)

I can go through every fear on my list and fill in the blanks. By completing this simple statement for all my fears and worst-case scenarios, I can begin to plainly see how I am the one creating my own fears by imagining the most negative, drastic outcomes in the future.

Take control of my fears.

Here’s my simple solution for this…just take the last part of my “fill in the blank” statement above and turn it into something positive! For example:

“Instead of being scared to rock climb with my friends, I will workout and train for it, so I will have the strength and self-confidence to conquer that mountain.”

Did you see how I flipped my fear and turned it into a powerful positive vision? I encourage you to flip your fears so you can have a list of empowering visions for success!

Even though I do this exercise often, I still find fear that creeps in because I’m human and it just does. I still have to strategize to overcome fear faster sometimes and here are my tips for you to try:

Become aware of my thoughts. If I want to change how I feel, I have to change my thoughts because it is a well- known fact that thoughts produce emotions. Whenever fear creeps in, I have to trace backwards with my thoughts and observe what I was thinking. What thoughts actually led to my fear at hand? Once I can identify them, I can act to resolve them easier.
Choose more positive thoughts (always). I can’t get rid of all negative thoughts just by not thinking them. I have to replace them with something else. Right? My mind isn’t empty. So, the second I notice a negative, fear-based thought in my head, I replace it with something positive like we did with the exercise above…it works! Start visualizing positive outcomes to all scenarios playing in your head and watch what happens…
Notice what happens physically when fear appears. I feel fear as a shrinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and sometimes my heart races. Notice what you feel when fear sets in. Just notice. Then, consciously replace with sensations you would rather be feeling. Allow peace and joy to show up in your body. Smile bigger, think of something that makes your heart sing and imagine the feelings that come with that joy and your fears will be neutralized.
Use positive mantras. Mantras help to create a more positive, success-oriented mindset. Mantras, strong statements that are the reality that YOU want to create, are a powerful antidote to fear. Give it a try and make positive mantras a ritual that fuel your success-based mindset.
Be realistic about risk. To be smart about all of this, I must make sure my strategy for overcoming fear does not cause me to risk more than I can afford to lose. Ok, I know to have growth, there must be risk. I just need to make sure that IF I don’t succeed the first time around, I can bear the loss that comes with it. I took on smaller challenges in the beginning to test myself and then worked my way up. Never overwhelm yourself out of the box! For instance, if you want a job change and look to go out on your own, but know you need a guaranteed income each month to cover your expenses, you may need to try your dream as a side hustle before you quit your day job for good. Just have a plan to manage future stress. Start small and then you will have the skills and self-confidence needed for the big stuff that always seems to surface when least expected…
Celebrate Success. Just “sayin”. I’m not always good at this because it feels pompous. I am learning to build up acceptance of my progress so I can constantly build confidence. I have already overcome many fears to be who I am today. Little things to me today, like learning to drive a car, kissing someone for the first time or learning to jump off a diving board were all big fears to me once. But when I embraced them and took action anyway, here I am today…able to drive a car and be independent, able to have intimacy with someone I love, and able to jump off of high dives and swim for miles! The situation I face NOW and how my fear is manifesting may be different than what I’ve experienced in the past, but I already KNOW how to overcome fears and that I CAN DO IT! I’ve actually spent a lifetime doing it…seriously! I’ve got this! And so do you! The Optimal YOU just perfects the process for lifelong success.

Now, I encourage you, Optimal YOU, to do the thing you fear…do one thing a day that scares you. It is the best possible way to GROW and achieve success in life. I stand here today able to profess that I FACE FEAR, because life has taught me that if I don’t, I stand still. If I don’t ACT, opportunity will pass me by and I don’t want to be left behind…do you? Didn’t think so.