Socialize Health Consciously
When I dug deep into my wellness journey, I thought I would automatically gain the support of family and friends. Why not? I am improving myself and making meaningful changes worth cheering for, right? Not as much as you may think!
It can be a challenge for me to stay on the straight and narrow when it comes to healthy habits and clean eating all on my own. It doesn’t help when my friends and my social life clash with my personal goals. I’m sure you can relate. I’m not going to tell you to ditch all your buds and join a fitness cult, but let’s think about this for a moment. From my experience, most health and diet mistakes are made during social settings (drinking, fast food, staying out too late…) Unfortunately, it seems to be popular to social drink and eat appetizers, large entrees and desserts all in the same outing. And sleep seems to not be so important to my night crew. But, let’s get real…. how does this affect my life BIG PICTURE? When the party is over, what is left? Why does spending time with family and friends have to sabotage my good habits? I decided that not only does my diet and exercise require a plan, so does my social life.
My first strategy was to communicate.
Just have intelligent conversation with my close friends and family. I had to be open with my struggles and my path. I let them know that I am on a Wellness Journey that includes clean eating, exercise and good sleep habits. I also was clear on how important it is to me to be consistent with my routines and I shared my goals with an open heart. I straight up asked for their support when we go out. Simple dialog such as, “Can you put the chips at the other end of the table, please?”, “Let’s leave and eat earlier so we can get home at a good hour and set ourselves up for success tomorrow”, etc…
I was pleasantly surprised how receptive people were when I was honest and just shared my goals or concerns with them. If I came across someone that pushed back and wanted to question or ridicule or even tempt me with bad choices (and I DID)---then I knew they were NOT a true friend with my best interest and happiness at heart. I move on. I don’t need that stress. But guess what? Along my Wellness Journey, I DID find people that listened, encouraged and even followed in my footsteps. I even found others deep into their own Wellness journeys, willing to welcome me into their healthy tribes for jogs, hikes, and adventures instead of happy hours and bar food. It made all my efforts worthwhile!
I have also come to realize that I have friends and colleagues for different reasons.
I learned how to classify the people in my life so that I could know, respect and be clear about their purpose. So, for instance, if your college roommates you bonded with years ago don’t care about an active lifestyle, it doesn’t mean you have to drop those fun, reminiscing conversations. I made new friends for outdoor adventures that will hike, bike and explore with me. They fill another cup for me. And all of it feeds my mind, body and soul! Take a look at your social circle and KNOW your friends and how they contribute to your health and happiness…or not.
My next socializing strategy involves remembering that it’s probably not about me.
What does that mean, you ask?
When we make visible healthy changes, it can make other people uncomfortable because they know they should be doing the same. Seeing others lose weight when their doctor has been telling them they need to do the same can bring feelings of guilt, insecurity, shame and jealously. These feelings get in the way of them being able to support and encourage me. Their negative comments or lack of support may be more about them and less about me. I keep this in mind and am gentle with them.
Of course, I always have to remember that it is NOT my job to change them.
I have learned to be more mindful how often I talk about my food choices, weight loss, workouts and goals. While it is inspiring and good to share, I do not want to talk about my workouts and wellness journey all day, every day, no matter how passionate I am about my healthy lifestyle. Socialize with friends that connect with you and remember that sometimes the best way to inspire others is simply to lead by example in a way that is genuine and non-judgmental.
Most importantly, I found a community that supports me.
In-person and online, my community understands and supports the changes I am making. They watch me grow and cheer me on as I do them. So, even if my co-workers don’t understand why I am passing on the birthday cake, I can send a text to my “fit friend” to get the support and encouragement I need at that moment. Point is, I know who to call and where to go to stay strong on my journey.
It is hard to make lifestyle changes. It doesn’t have to be lonely out there…I hope these points help you along your path to Optimal YOU.
I embrace that this is MY Lifestyle and my body. I am the one responsible for ensuring my health, happiness and longevity and I am the one who will live with the benefits of my lifestyle. How do you feel about your lifestyle? Your journey? Your support system? We all want to please people. We want our friends to be happy with us, or family to love us and our significant others to approve of everything we do…but at the end of the day, all that matters is that YOU APPROVE OF YOU. May we never stop seeking the positive support we need to better our lives and improve our health.
